Five (5) unacceptable behaviours that will ruin your relationship

 

Relationships are hard. They’re not like eating a delicious egg. They’re tough, they take work and they can fall to pieces as quickly and easily as some candy floss that a raccoon dropped in a puddle.

To get that kind of love, you have to make sure you’re not accidentally being a real bad egg.

You have to consider how you behave, you have to line up your insecurities and your neglectful instincts and you have to shoot them in the face.

But what are those behaviours, and more importantly how can you ditch them for good?

1. Using Ultimatums As A Means Of Control: it goes something like this: “this makes me not want to be with you,” “if you keep getting upset I’ll leave” or “your problems put too much pressure on me.” in this moment you’re taking off the hat that says good rational partner and putting one on that says real dickhead. 
2. Punishing Them For Disappointing You: You aren’t little Timmy’s dad taking away his allowance until he starts doing his homework. Little Timmy isn’t real. He’s from cartoons. Grow up. No, you’re in an equal partnership with an equal who is equally equal to you. You know? The minute it becomes your objective to punish someone for messing up rather than communicating and working out a way to get past it, you’ve lost.
3. Condemning The Qualities That You Used To Celebrate Them For: The early days of a relationship are great. It’s like the other person is perfect and everything they do is amazing and life changing. Just the way they slice a tomato gets you like “wow…I’ve never seen anything like this. Nobody else on earth could slice a tomato like that. I can’t wait to marry this girl and watch her slice tomatoes until I die.” But that’s just the honeymoon phase.
4. Letting Them Continue To Work Hard At A Relationship You Know Isn’t Going Anywhere: This is like inviting someone to build a delicious cake with you but then refusing to do any of the whisking. It’s like sitting back and watching them bake, watching them carefully measure out all of the ingredients, watching them break eggs and melt butter and all the while you’re thinking about a batch of cookies that doesn’t even exist yet.
5. Measuring Them By Standards You Refuse To Be Measured By Yourself: If you want someone to communicate well then don’t take four days to reply to a text. If you want to be emotionally cared for then you better be ready to offer your own shoulder to lean on. Relationships are an exchange of goodness, they’re a partnership.